Why I love messenger bags...

words: spoken...

Molly: "If I keep drinking I'll be hungover, which may have the same effect as making out."

Me: "Kinda nauseated, with feelings of regret?"

Handlebars...

While perusing the blog of the one and only Bike Snob NYC I came across this lovely tattoo.

That's right folks, this girl has a handlebar themed tramp stamp. I've always been under the impression that most lower back tattoos were purely for decorative purposes, and generally increased one's chances of acquiring a mate and a STD. Upon consulting wikipedia I see that I'm mostly correct, "Generally, a lower back tattoo will be designed to emphasize the shape and curvature of the figure". If were purely about accentuating curves she certainly would have gone with "Mustache bar".



In the case of the above handlebar tattoo, I feel that the owner is trying to say something more. Aside from the obvious suggestiveness that one should grab on for a wild ride, her choice of bars gives us some hints as to what type of mate she is looking to attract.

The bars pictured on her back are clearly those found on a mid 1980's MTB which harkens back to the birth of off road riding. The extra crossbar and protruding nub of a "moto-style" brake lever (far left) are dead giveaways. Clearly she is looking to find someone with experience and a willingness to forge into unknown territory. Preferably someone with mustache like Tom Ritchey; one of the godfathers of the MTB scene.

If any of you are thinking of getting a handlebar tramp stamp lets take a look at some of the various styles of bars and what a tattoo of them would say.

Standard road drop bars:

These are the all purpose bars that most of us have come to love. They offer several hand positions, and thus imply the need for a versatile partner. Wether cruising along on the tops, on the hoods hammering up a climb, or deep in the drops for the final sprint, the owner of a tat of these bars is saying "I want a guy (or girl?) who knows what to do and when to do it".

"Wing" carbon drop bars:

While similar in appearance to the standard drop bar these are differentiated by the "flat tops" and carbon construction. Despite costing about 4x more they offer no real benefits other than "cool factor". A girl sporting these bars is looking for a guy that has deep pockets and an affinity for form over function. She'll likely have other "Upgrades", and is willing to accept the fact that he'll probably stop mid "ride" for a latte and continually bitch about the fact that no matter how much he spends on equipment he's still not getting an better. Trust me, she's well aware that you're not getting any better.

Track Drops:

While it may appear similar to it's aforementioned cousins these bars are strictly business. You may notice that the bars are devoid of brakes/shifters, and they are only wrapped halfway up. Having a set of these tattooed on the small of your back screams, "put your hands here and go all out to the finish". The owner of such a tattoo is looking for someone who treats sex like a professional sport (without the need for special shoes).

Wide Riser bars:

These bars are all the rage on mountain bikes and come with the promise of a more upright position and enhanced control due to the increased width. Proper application as a tattoo requires a fairly large canvas, so these are probably popular with the plus sized ladies. Similar to a MTB these ladies are often not the swiftest or flashiest, but they generally know how to have a good time. A girl with this tattoo knows that every now and again you'll need the extra leverage the these bars offer, but for the most part you are best off going with the flow and enjoying the ride; just like riding a MTB.

Aero bars:

At first look you might that these bars scream one thing, "speed". Of course if you've ever ridden a TT using these bars you know that the word really is "suffering". A girl rocking a tattoo of these is looking for a guy that is capable of enduring intense efforts for extended periods of time. The arm rests and extensions are just waiting to be used by a guy who's arms gave out long ago but is willing to soldier on resting on his elbows/forearms.

This tattoo could also mean that the owner is a masochist looking for a triathlete to inflict bodily harm on anyone in the general vicinity (i.e., her). We all know that a triathlete riding aero bars is a disaster waiting to happen.

Skinny "hipster bars":

You may have seen these bars on fixed gear bikes that have become one of the biggest fads to sweep major metro areas. While originally employed so that one could squeeze into tight spaces in traffic, when employed as a stamp it pretty much invites one into a not so tight space. This tattoo screams "Come on ride me, it's the latest trend, everyone is doing it (err me)". All the while the owner of the tattoo knows that she'll discarded to the corner of your apartment (like your fixie) while you sit around being mopey and emo.

The sample is the flesh and the beat is the skeleton...

Listing to music in iTunes on shuffle is fantastic because every now and again a song that I have not heard in a long time gets played. Most recently that song was MacArthur Park by Richard Harris (note that i've embedded youtube clips that won't show up in the RSS feed).

You may ask why I have this song in my library. Some of you may recognize the Fact that this song is by the same person who played Dumbledore in the first two Harry Potter Films, but that is not why I have this song. The real reason is that it was sampled in the Song "Dreamy days" by Roots Manuva.

I get a certain amount of pleasure when I can match up a sample from a hip-hop song with the original. It is like a light bulb goes one "so that's where that came from".
I generally come across these connections while listening to internet radio stations playing classic rock, oldies, etc. I have two more parings that I'll share with you. The first is "in a broken dream" by Python Lee Jackson (Feat. Rod Stewart).

which was used to form the bassline of the Lovage song "lifeboat".

The vocal combination of Jennifer Charles and Mike Patton (Faith no more) make this entire album killer.

The last pair features the classic Beatles tune "across the universe"

The opening guitar riff is sampled and slowed down in Eligh's song "makeshift message". The new tempo/pitch is kinda haunting, and works really well with the rest of the song.

All the lonely people...

Tronica and I were at our new local stomp, The Backstretch tonight, talking about days past and those to come. The girl next to us asked if we wanted to hear anything on the juke as she had some extra credits. Seeing as this place reminded me so much of Les's Lounge I started racking my brain to recall a song from back in the day. It was pretty broad list: You never call me by my name by David Allan Coe, Policy of Truth by Depeche Mode, Slip Away by Clarence Carter, but I finally settled on something I hadn't heard in years: Eleanor Rigby performed by Ray Charles. I'm not sure if I like it better than the Beatles version (one of my Fav Beatles tunes), but it is still pretty good. See (hear) for yourself.



If you are fortunate to find a place that you can surround yourself with friends on a regular basis, cherish every moment; as it may soon be a parking lot.

This is my Autumn. This is my introduction to winter.

"I just wanted to feel normal, important, warm, I wanted to feel cozy when it rains, instead of depressed by a storm. I wanted a hand to hold when my heart skips, maybe worth a tear in your eye, I just wanted one person to love me so I wouldn't be so afraid to die. So I when I'd sleep I'd rest, not a psyche to fuck, but a comfort to kill anxiety, so I could swallow without it getting stuck. I just wanted to breathe so I decided to pretend to be another reason you'll learn to never trust...lord forgive me."

Ink by Cubbiebear

It's 2 AM and I'm a bit restless. I've got a lot on my mind as of late. Some of the things running through my mind have probably been piling up over the past few months and possibly the events of the past few days have brought them front and center. In any case I was feeling a bit introspective and dug out my Journal from 2001. While it started in the dead of Winter the journal was about my Spring, a time for rebirth. I'm not sure if that was the case as I often find myself in the same trappings of old.

I began reading with he hope that I'd find some wisdom buried deep within the quad-ruled pages of the marble notebook (yes, only an engineer would use a quad-ruled notebook for a journal). 2001 was a pretty tumultuous year in my life, I was single after breaking up with my girlfriend of several years, starting a research project for my masters degree, and trying to figure out If I was cut out for a Ph.D. I was also not racing (running or cycling) for the first time in my adult/adolescent life. The combination of all of these factors lead to a period of soul-searching that provided no real answers, however the journey was still worthwhile.

The actions that were chronicled during that year were mostly fueled by alcohol and lead me down some roads I never should have traveled, but at the same time some very good memories were captured in the pages of my journal. Looking back through the pages of booze addled ramblings sometimes I am shocked by what I had written, as the clarity that I peered into my soul was a bit too much. I'm also a bit taken back at how dark and depressed I was at times. Here is an entry from 5/27/01:

I'm kinda fed up with the way things are. I'm pretty unhappy with the way life is unfolding. I feel shallow. There is so much to life & i just don't think I appreciate it . I'm just frustrated. I just realized that I don't like people that sit around a question everything. They lead me to question myself, and I don't like what I see.

While a bit spooky I think it was a very honest entry. The short sentences were blurted out via pen as quickly as possible. in some respects this is a really uplifting entry. I shows a willingness to let my guard down to myself. That may sound silly, but ask yourself when was the last time you really took a deep look at yourself.

I'm also a bit surprised to find entries expressing rage, lust, jealousy, and genuine love. While these are common human emotions, they are not ones that I express on a regular basis. People describe me as laid back, and I often wonder if that is a polite way to say "dead inside".

A recurring theme is my willingness to put others needs before mine. I think this is a virtue, but only to an extent. Eventually you have to be selfish, or else you end up at the back of the line, alone. That said, you have to pick your selfish moments wisely as they can have devastating repercussions. I hope that 8 years on I have the wisdom to pick my battles more wisely than back then; for actions cannot be undone, and regret is a bitter pill.

It is now almost 5 AM, and I'm pretty worn out. While writing the above I've been trying to take stock of where my life is right now and where I'm heading. I'm in a pretty good position, certainly better off then I was in 2001.

As an aside, while writing this I received an e-mail to join the "Les's Lounge Alumni" group on facebook. Apparently an old friend was suffering a bit of insomnia too and decided to create the group as a tribute the the local bar we called home several nights a week (Thursdays and Sundays to be specific). My journal is peppered with entries related to Les's, and I can say that many of the best and worst situations I found myself in that year involved the Lounge in some way. My nights at the lounge led me to broken bones and broken hearts, but my luck never really ran out.

And in case any of you are worried about my mental state here is a picture of cute little bunnies, This is what I feel like on most days. Just had some things running through my mind as of late.

Kids say the darnedest things...

On our way back from lunch on monday, Alex and I overheard a young woman utter the following into her mobile phone, "I hate my sister cuz she looks like a dude."

I slowly came to a stop as I tried to wrap my head around what i just heard. Alex just started laughing.

wow...

"It has been at least three weeks since I've touched it." -geo

"It has been a while since I've pulled it out." -geo

"as a woodwind player I only make about $40 an hour" -some girl

Yeah, music speak.

Whitey...

Whitey, that is who owns and operates 95% of the RV's (recreational vehicles) in the US. Asians make up the other 5%. This little nugget of truth is something that my long-lost friend Toph Wedge discovered while driving from Illinois to Squamish, B.C. for some MTB madness.  While this might seem to have come from left field what follows is the chain of events that sparked this memory.

Up at 6:00 AM to ride.  Out the door by 6:15 into a balmy 26ºF dark Fall morning. This is cold enough to numb my brain to the point of thinking of odd things on the bike.  ~6:20 AM I am passed by a black man, driving a VW Vanagon.  While not an RV, it is probably the closest vehicle to an RV that I've ever seen an African-American drive.  If any of you smart asses say "bus", I'm talking about personal vehicles, you racist.

In other news, It is finally cold enough to say that "Winter" rides have begun.  Thus the coming months will be full of long rides and frozen extremities (including my brain).  In an effort to quantify these rides I'm introducing the "bourbometer". This simple metric distills (pun intended) the pain and mental anguish of Winter riding into an easy to interpret scale based on fifths of bourbon.

Here is the rundown, by no means in the bourbometer a fixed rule, rather it will adapt as time goes on:

One Fifth: Short ride,  not cold enough to freeze your bottles. No need to drink after this ride, but you still do for good measure.

Two Fifths: Cold enough to make your toes and naughty bits chilly.  A few nips of Makers should help thaw you out.

Three Fifths: Serious pain in feet and hands.  Drink until your feet are thawed enough to get into a hot shower without screaming, or you pass out on the couch.

Four Fifths: Temps below freezing with either wet roads or active precipitation. You can see the souls of past roadies trapped beneath the black  ice al la "The Divine Comedy". I recommend a hot toddy to thaw out, make a pot full instead of a mug full.
Five Fifths: 5 hours of being dragged around by Rick Norton in sub 20ºF weather, or 30 mins on the trainer. You'll need a gallon of booze to recover from this ride.

It could be worse...

So I was back to the doctor today. No earth shattering news yet, but i have some lab work due to come back on Monday. Speaking of lab work, while waiting form my number to be called —they use numbers so that your testing is anonymous so you can feel OK about giving blood for a HIV test etc—a certain course of events took place making me realize that my it could be worse. A young lady walks past me to the window of the lab, hands over her slip to which I hear the nurse respond, "would you like to leave your stool sample with us now, or deposit it at home". Now for one, the nurse didn't shout this from the top of the mountain, but she didn't exactly whisper it either. Now think about the choices this poor girl has: 1. Pinch a stool in a public bathroom where everyone in the waiting room knows what she is doing, 2. Go home only to have carry a piece of your own shit back to the medical center. In the grand scheme this is probably not really a big deal to her for the simple reason that if someone has asked you to shit in a bag so that they can look at it, you probably have something seriously wrong with your plumbing and are willing to swallow a little of your pride in order to get it fixed. So as this girl took off her sweatshirt and marched off the the bathroom to get down to business, I thought that I was pretty fortunate to have a rather pedestrian infection. Just remember, no matter if you feel like a bag of shit, at least you don't have to shit in a bag.