Why...

That is pretty much my only response to the news that Dewey Dickey is likely to receive a 2-year (actually probably lifetime) ban because he refused to take an out of competition doping control. I raced with Dewey for several years while in the midwest. Note that this was after he served a 2-year suspension for testing positive for banned substances in 2001/2002; thus the possibility of a lifetime ban. Dewey was always a gritty, hard nosed racer who was always willing to push the pace and animate the race. Despite his former doping offense I've always had a good amount of respect for him. This is partly due to his style of racing, but mostly due to the fact that he was generally a nice guy.

The last time I saw Dewey he was on a stretcher being loaded into an ambulance at the Tour of Ohio. He had not crashed, rather he was weakened due to blood loss related to the removal of his colon several years prior. Knowing that he is no stranger to adversity I knew that he'd be back. Since that time I've seen his name at the top of the results pages at several races in the midwest including a win at last year's Snake Alley Crit.

So back to the main question...Why? It sucks that USADA was dragging ass with processing his updated (Therapeutic Use Exemption) TUE, but why refuse to take the control? Dewey said that he refused the test because he knew he would test positive due to his medications. Had he agreed to the test (and he was only taking the meds specified on his TUE), the worst that could happen is that he tests positive for the drugs that are listed on prior TUE's and the one that is (was) currently being processed. At least then he could fight the positive on grounds of procedural issues. Now we are left to wonder if there were more nefarious reasons for refusing the test. It is possible that he's using a banned substance that is not on his TUE and he figured it was better to hide behind his pending TUE. I hate to say it but to me that sounds like the most probable situation.

Dewey's life revolved around cycling, and he was a fighter. He's come back from the abyss several times, why not fight this comparably small hurdle? Sadly we'll probably never know the real story, and as a consequence many people will question all of his accomplishments on the bike. Dewey, If you did fear testing positive for something else, come out and say it, and do so soon. That may erase any respect I have for you on the bike, but it will reaffirm my respect for you off of the bike.

As seen on the local listserv...

What follows is a posting and the response to a fairly innocuous question posted on the local bike racing mailing list.

On Jan 20, 11:08†am, [name removed] wrote:

> Hi.† Can anyone recommend an internist or dermatologist? †I have been

shopping for a new internist but I have an immediate need for saddle sores.†

I live in Bethesda so something close to the area would be ideal.† Thanks.

Reply:

contact [name of Doctor]. he no longer rides but he enjoys that type of stuff.

Perhaps it is in my head, but I got a good chuckle. This Doctor is a pretty sick puppy if he enjoys looking at festering pustules located on some dude's taint, AKA sandbar, AKA tween etc.

Scattergories...

Upon returning from the 'stretch last weekend I found Laura, Stacy, and Stacy's mom playing Scattergories. They attempted to get me to play, but I was not really feeling up to it. Conversation went like this:

Stacy: Wanna play Scattergories?

Laura: Yeah, I'll be fun.

Laura: We just finished "Things you find at the beach".

Me: Dead hookers?

Stacy: Silly, It has to start with an "a".

Me: A dead hooker.

The end.

Banner year for sure...

Its about 2 AM on the east coast and I've already smoked a cigarette and been kicked in the nuts. This is gonna be a banner year for sure. Happy new year and more later.

Best present EVER...

Mom is out of the hospital. Fortunately it was noting major, but her Crohn's flared up and she was in enough pain to spend a day or so in the ER. She's much better now and it finally feels like Christmas. Due to theses complications and the bad weather, Grandma and our Aunt and Uncle will be arriving tomorrow. Best wishes to you and your family.

The holiday spirit...

With Hanukkah in full swing and x-mass just round the corner it is hard for me to not get caught up in the "spirit" of the season. That is until I see a gift like this:

I understand that this is a quote from a Winnie the Pooh book (said by Pooh to Piglet), and to most people it is a sweet and loving sentiment. To me it simply says, "My dearest, I'm a selfish bastard and I hope that I die before you so that I don't have to spend my last day in misery. No, my love, I leave it to you to die a miserable sod."

Happy Holidays.

Naughty...

I just got back from the "Naughty" launch party for Chesapeake Roller Derby. They are going with a holiday theme, with the "naughty" party being held at a local strip club, and the "nice" party being held later in the week at a more family friendly arena, the skating rink. Tronica (AKA: Tron, K.O., etc) is a member of the league so a few of us showed up to help support the league and their charity: The American Breast Cancer Foundation.

We didn't have the entire club to ourselves, but most of the people were there for the launch. That said, the club was still open to the general public and there were still girls working. I'll say working and not dancing as some of the girls had not flow or style. Jess agreed and she knows her stuff. She was even allowed up on the amateur stage to strut her stuff which was a big hit with the derby crowd.

Anyhoo, at one point I'm having a conversation with some friends and one of the girls from the club comes up and is just standing next to me for a few seconds. I break off my conversation and she starts in with some small talk in an effort to move some bills from my wallet to her garter. Not interested I play a long a bit. After a short while she lifts her garter dropping a not so subtle hint. I glance at the garter then back up to her eyes dropping a subtle hint that I'm not interested in tipping her. The rest of the conversation when like this:

her: "no?!"

me: "sorry."

her: "really!?"

me: "really."

her: "If you're gonna come to a strip club you should be ready to tip!"

Then she stormed off. It is best that she did because the bouncers were probably looking for an excuse to tap dance on someones skull, and bad mouthing a girl that works there is a sure fire way to get your teeth kicked in. Needless to say I was a little miffed. I'm there to support a friend and a charity. I mean if the "nice"event was held at the local nursing home would I be expected to sponge bathe every octogenarian I see?

Anyway all in all it was a good time, and if I'm lucky I'll win a raffle for a giant basket of booze.

Happy Fugging New Year...

25 Degrees and 20 MPH winds, way to cold to ride home.  More later.

Jamie

Dz-nuts...

After years of hearing DZ talk about protecting our junk, it has finally happened.  Lets just hope this shit is recession proof.  

There are tons more Dz-Nuts commercials on you tube, enjoy.

I personally am an Assos man, but I'll have to give this a shot.  Gotta keep our domestic riders employed.  Get some here.

Second spring...

Bizarre weather yesterday.  Tons of rain overnight lead to a damp day on the bike.  Fortunately the temperature was quite balmy, in the upper sixty's.  While rolling through the countryside of B-more county, I was struck by how green the fields were. That coupled with the lack of leaves on the trees and the warm temperatures made it feel like spring again. Unfortunately we are back to more seasonable temps today with the high projected to b in the low fifty's.  Still good enough for a spin, and I'm currently waiting for loud Mike to get his ass up so we can head out.

Back in the game...

It has been a while and quite honestly not much is new in my little corner of the world.  I still have papers to write and jobs to look for, but the off season is almost over.  I've added a few beer pounds and it is  officially now brown liquor season, the time of year when I drink slowly and ride even slower.

One interesting note is that in the past month I've put in more miles on the commuter (A.K.A. madwagon, car, etc) than on my road bike.  Some of these miles were accumulated during this past weekend's "Hubs of Fury 3" which is a bar crawl that traveled to and fro many areas of Bawlmer by bicycle.  While it was not the rolling debauchery that Dirty et al. partook in at the SSCXWC it was still a good time.

In the coming days i'll start training again it is cold enough out that my brain will certainly crap out some silliness that only an long cold winter ride can induce. For those that have been here from the beginning we've come full circle.

Lazy days of Summer...

Hey all, That is if anyone actually reads this thang anymore. I know that is has been some time since I've posted an update so here goes...

Work has been pretty good. It's a bit tough to get everything done, but I've got some pretty cool experimental results. Now I just need to figure out what they mean.

Bike riding/racing has been a bit of a struggle this year. I feel like I'm close to having some good form, but also close to having another major setback health wise. No really good results to speak of, but the racing has been pretty good at times. We (the KBS/LSV team) did the Tour of Millersburg stage race a few weeks back. It was a very well run event and we are all looking forward to next year. It was a two day, three stage race. ITT, Crit and RR. Headwind Hong had the best TT out of all of us, which is pretty amazing seeing as he is 110lbs soaking wet. That said, the kid is stupid aero and has a big (relative) engine. Kinda like a motorcycle. I went as far as getting some serious aero equipment for my rig.

That pic is mainly for le TSK as he has an affinity for TT rigs. Granted mine is not nearly as cool as his.

The crit was a throw-down with our guys animating it. We got Rick in a good move late in the race, only to get brought back with just over a lap to go. I put it into sprint mode but had to shut it down when a few guys decided to lay it down in the last corner.

The RR was 90 miles with nothing to selective. Bloomer was on early duty and got in the first real move. That came back after one lap, Rick countered taking some big guys up the road with him and that was all she wrote. ~70 miles on a break while we shut it down in the field. Rick attacked the break and came to the line with one other guy. It was close, but Rick got pipped at the line. Back in the field all hell broke loose in the last 2 miles with two big crashes taking out handfuls of riders. One crash was on a downhill and we were going near 40 MPH, spooky stuff.

After M'burgh, I traveled to Bling-Blinghamton to race in the Chris Thater Memorial Crits. The Masters 30+ was the strangest race I'd done in a long time. Things got hard, but not enough to get a good break going. The guys in our race had never heard of a counterattack, that is unless slow rolling off the front after I attacked for the 5th time is your idea of a counterattack. All in all 8 guys got up the road, I sprinted for 10th, blah.

Sunday was the Pro-1 race. I was excited as my parents were able to come to their first bike race. The short story is they got to see me tail gun most of the race after I laid it down in a corner. I tore the ass out of my shorts (literally) and walked past them on my way to the pit. Kinda funny, I just waved, and said "I'm ok".

I've got two races left and I'm looking forward to the offseason. I have a lot to do, papers to write, conferences to attend and academic positions to find and apply to . I'll try to keep you all updated.

Happy Birthday... you don't have cancer...yet...we think...

So I turned 31 years old today and as the title states, I don't have (the) cancer.  I've had a few suspicious moles taken off of my back in the past 6 months or so.  Let me tell you it is a lot of fun having about an inch long/ half inch wide lenticular patch of skin removed just to find out if your mole is cancerous.  Then again, having full blown cancer is no walk in the park. The labs came back and there were more "abnormal" cells than the lab would like, but it was not a definitive diagnosis of cancer.  My dermatologist told me "I don't think you are going to die, but we'd like to track you for changes." So I get to see him every six months. 

In other news, JP and Julie, friends from bling-blinghamton, got married this weekend.  It was a blast catching up with the old crew.  We shared memories of the good old days, like the time that we put JP's head thru the wall (see it was true Sophia).

Ughhhhh....

So it has been some time since I've posted, but I've been busy attending various wedding and bachelor party functions. The weekend of June 28th I was in lovely Rockland County, NY for JP's bachelor party. Ro-Ro works at a camp for children with mental disabilities and he was able to secure the venue for our shenanigans before the kiddies showed up. We had a mobile keg of beer and were set to have some fun.

Things went pretty much as expected.  Lots of booze was consumed, pong and flippy-cup games ensued, Shultz passed out and got sharpied, and JP vomited.  A solid performance all around.  It was a blast to catch up with the friends that I left on the east coast during my Illinois years.  

This past weekend (4th of July) I was back in the Midwest for (sober) Craig's bachelor party and wedding.  The B-party started off with some poolside beers 5 mins after I arrived at the hotel, nice.  Then we cruised to Naperville in a limo bumpin "beam me up".  We met up with the bachelorette party and had a fantastic time.

The wedding was a great time too.  Mandy (the bride) was a picture of beauty and the ceremony was really well put together.  Craig is a lucky man as Mandy is the total package, smart, caring, beautiful, funny, and has a smile that will knock you out.   The picture does not do these two justice.

More bike racing this weekend. Till then toodles.

George Carlin, R.I.P. 2008...

I was gonna give a recap of the final stage of the Tour of Ohio, but since Mr. Carlin kicked the bucket today I thought that I'd share one of my favorite Carlin quotes.

"And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, 'Fuck waffles.' "

We'll miss you...you cocksucker.

Tomorrow, recap of the last day in Ohio or How I nearly got my ass kicked twice in one day.

Stupid recovery tricks...

So after a miserable day, A-mac, C-dubs (the chubs) and G-mur (the lemur) decided that an ice bath would be a good idea to speed recovery.  A few bags of Ice and an eight-dollar kiddie pool later this happened.

Shaken...

It is not too often that I see pictures of something that really knocks me for a loop. We are constantly barraged with shots of death and violence, and that has probably made me a little numb to most things. There is also a certain detachment as I have never be victim of a violent crime, war, or natural disaster.

I was sent a link to some photos of an accident involving a drunk driver and a bicycle race in Mexico.

This is the first image I saw.

This image is especially terrifying to anyone that has ever ridden in a road race. The car on the right is a police escort, so the riders were still in the "protection" of the race caravan. I can tell you that in the middle of a race you certainly let your guard down in terms of interacting with traffic because you rely on the escorts to keep you safe. The victims here probably had no idea what was going on until it was too late.

This image was pretty bad and I knew that the aftermath would not be good, but i was not prepared for what I saw a few images later.

That image is what shook me. It just reeks of death. No heroic efforts at CPR, no ambulance. I could have handled an image of massive trauma and EMT's doing what they could, as that would have given some hope that the guy would pull through. Nope, just a bunch of people looking at a pile of meat and bone covered by a blanket. If that doesn't remind you that we are mortal, I'm not sure what will.

More updates...

It has been a hectic few weeks for me.

I'm still not recovered from getting sick after "The Dolan Deluge (parts one and two)". The same thing happened last year, i got a bad sinus infection, then my allergies just kept my cough and congestion lingering. Modern medicine has not been much help either. With nearly five weeks of feeling like poo, the doctors are just flabbergasted. Not much seems to help.

The other big news is that I finally graduated with my Ph.D.

Yup, drinking a 40 oz. in full academic regalia is mandatory.

In the meantime, my midwest boys have been killing it on the bike, with the TSK, The Earl of Skeet, AY , and Nick Dornik getting some good results over the past weekend. TSK bagged his first P/1/2 victory so I owe him more malt liquor.

Tomorrow is my new home race: Bike Jam/Kelly Cup. Lots of big name are slated for the 40 mile pro/1 race and It is going to be tough for sure. I think i'll be trying to hide most of the day. As a bonus, some old friends form the midwest will be in attendance. I look forward to mixing it up with them, or at least having a chat on the line.

Bed time, I've got to be up at 6:00 to go help work the race.

Updates...

Hey all, Not much is new aside from the fact that I've been really ill for a week now. Apparently hard races in the cold rain are not good for my immune system. Since there have been some comments about my new ride and kit, I'll post some pictures. enjoy.





So, yes Skeeter, I am on a sloping tube Lemon-D. As to whether my kit matches my bike, I'm color blind but even I think that the match is not too close.

caminar de berguensa...

At the end of my ride today I experienced the dreaded double flat. I hit some piece of an automobile that was lying in the broken pavement of the bike lane I was in. This resulted in a double pinch flat and a huge gash in my front tire. Despite having a spare tube and a patch kit, I didn't think I could boot the front tire. Couple that with the fact that I was about a mile from my home I said fuggit, popped my shoes off and walked it in. This is the cycling equivalent "walk of shame" that takes place most every saturday and sunday morning on college campuses.

You may note several similarities between the two walks of shame referred to above. Clad in spandex walking around baltimore is pretty much the equivalent to walking home past the sunday morning churchgoers in a cute dress with nookie hair. My choice of footwear was also ill-suited for the trek home. I'll never understand why people insist on wearing good shoes out to the crappy campus bars. For one they hinder the walk home that night or the next day. Second, they are just bound to end up covered in dirt and various bodily fluids. Seriously, you should all start wearing your flip-flops to the bars, better for walking and you can wear then directly into the shower to wash the filth off them and your soul. But I digress.

As anyone who has performed the walk can tell you, you biggest hope is that you will not cross paths with anyone that you know on your journey. I was not so lucky as a co-worker, Emily, passed me in her car a few blocks from my house. She yelled and waved to make sure that I was properly shamed. Thankfully she didn't attempt to stop and make sure I was alright as that would have furthered the shaming.