Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Banner weekend...for falling down...

Man, it was a bad weekend for my two wheeled brethren. I suppose that it all started mid-week with Rick getting an infected saddle sore excised. I guess that it was so bad that the doc ended up removing a 2"x2" piece of his ass. Rick is about six feet tall and weighs a buck-forty, so by my calculations they removed an entire cheek.

On Saturday, Ryan M, of Team That's What She Said fame, got in a car accident...sort of. He was out for a spin getting ready for a triathlon on Sunday when some dude pulled out in front of him. Ryan t-boned the dudes car, destroying his bike. Initial reports are that Ryan is mostly unscathed, which is good news. This incident is further proof that God hates triathletes. I've railed against the tri-peeps for years now, but I've given up on it. You see, tri-peeps treat their sport like a religion, and if I've learned anything during my stay on this earth is that you don't try to change peoples views on religion. I've also learned that worshiping false idols (or at least lesser deities)is a bad idea, and from time to time the guy in charge must smite a person that has strayed from the flock to remind people who is boss.

A little closer to home (Hagerstown, MD) was the location of another bike related injury. While racing in the MABRA championship crit, my teammate Blair got tangled up (rather ran over) another rider that wanted to test how hard the pavement was. Apparently Blair didn't believe the results of the first test, and decided to take a closer look by smashing his face into said pavement. The numbers have been crunched and with a small margin of error the pavement in turn three is "fucking hard". Now most of you are asking, "how hard is that?". Hard enough to leave a two inch gash over his eye, an nickel sized hole in is chin, and a jaw bone that is in two pieces. I'm super bummed as Blair has been riding well and we'll miss him in the field for the next few weeks while he is eating out of a blender (scroll to 3:58 and listen). I'm telling you man, pea soup is the bomb.

I've already poured libations (I was dying for a mint julep on Monday night) in the hopes that the gods will allow you all to heal quickly, and keep the rest of us out of harms way.

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