Wednesday, December 17, 2008


After years of hearing DZ talk about protecting our junk, it has finally happened.  Lets just hope this shit is recession proof.  

There are tons more Dz-Nuts commercials on you tube, enjoy.

I personally am an Assos man, but I'll have to give this a shot.  Gotta keep our domestic riders employed.  Get some here.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Good Pour...

Most of my friends respect a good pour.  That is when you are at a bar and you order a reasonably good drink and they give you a healthy amount of booze for your $$.  The following picture is a prime example of a good pour.

This is a healthy serving of woodford reserve bourbon, served to me at "no idea" or "don't know" in Fed Hill.  Frankly I can never get the two places straight.  That had to be four shots of whiskey.  Hopefuly this will be enough fuel to hang on to Rick on the AM race pace ride.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


I'm not one to get too caught up in the mess that is doping in cycling, but the latest news about Kayle Leogrande has been a long time coming. Info can be found at velonews and cyclingnews and if you are interested you can read the USADA decision.  Just after winning the USA Elite crit Championship at Downer Grove, the rumors started (or continued) to fly that Kayle had been popped for doping.  In the end the test were inconclusive and he was not sanctioned.  A year later more problems cropped up.  I was at stuporweek in 2007 when he was asked to submit a doping control.  The word on the street was that he was taking something as he seemed to be a notch faster than he should be.   A few months later rumors were abound that he had admitted using EPO after being tested at superweek.  Now about a year later he's been suspended, and it seems that there was a lot of truth in those rumors.

I like the part where he says that he was targeted by USADA, frankly because he is right.  There was a bit of an uproar amongst some team directors when USADA was not at 'Toona because it had decided to go to Superweek. Now we know why.

I can understand why Rock Racing did not  suspend Kayle before USADA issued judgement, but they need to look  at the people that they now employ and the specter of doping that surounds virtually all of the team either directly or via association.  I'm all for second chances, but the parties involved have to understand that the moment you are associated with doping all of your results will be questioned wether you were clean or not. 

Friday, November 28, 2008


In an effort to stave off future late-ride hunger knocks my extended family pitched in an supplied me with an opportunity to build my calorie cache–Thanksgiving desert. I'm still having trouble reaching the keyboard due to my swollen belly, so here is a pictorial recap.

Pumpkin Roll

Vanilla Ice Cream

Apple Pie (Kosher)

Chocolate Chip Cookies (Kosher)

Chocolate Delights (Kosher)

Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Sweet Potato Pie

Apple Pie

More gluttony to come, Heidi is cooking some Gumbo tonight, and there will be more deserts (pumpkin cheesecake???).

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Running on empty...

It until today it had  been quite some time since I've bonked on a ride.   Frankly I had forgotten how much it sucks.  Upon hearing reports of my "buffet disorder" several of my midwestern friends have chastized me for fogetting to partake in some sweet treats that can only be provided by that whore that every cyclist knows all too well, Little Debbie.
Oatmeal Cream Pies, Zebra Cakes, Cosmic Brownies, etc. we all have our favorites, but surprisingly most of the folks out here are not big on convenience store runs mid ride.  Hell, I even get odd looks from my teammates when I buy a 48 oz fountain drink, pound half and then top off my bottles with the balance.

Rest assured my my midwestern friends, I have not forgotten your teachings, rather it was some bad luck and an unwillingness to smack the taste out of a cashier's mouth that led to my demise today.  We stopped at a store mid ride and to my dismay they didn't have ANY of the aforementioned trollop's wares for sale.  I settled on a big ass cookie and a bottle of coke that was supposed to be $0.99 but rang up at $1.49  after some debate with the cashier over the price of said cola,  I was forced to buy only the coke as it was all that my postdoctoral salary was able to afford.  Two hours later my cola buzz wore off and I stared to fade. 

All in all it was a four on the bourbometer:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Whitey, that is who owns and operates 95% of the RV's (recreational vehicles) in the US. Asians make up the other 5%. This little nugget of truth is something that my long-lost friend Toph Wedge discovered while driving from Illinois to Squamish, B.C. for some MTB madness.  While this might seem to have come from left field what follows is the chain of events that sparked this memory.

Up at 6:00 AM to ride.  Out the door by 6:15 into a balmy 26ºF dark Fall morning. This is cold enough to numb my brain to the point of thinking of odd things on the bike.  ~6:20 AM I am passed by a black man, driving a VW Vanagon.  While not an RV, it is probably the closest vehicle to an RV that I've ever seen an African-American drive.  If any of you smart asses say "bus", I'm talking about personal vehicles, you racist.

In other news, It is finally cold enough to say that "Winter" rides have begun.  Thus the coming months will be full of long rides and frozen extremities (including my brain).  In an effort to quantify these rides I'm introducing the "bourbometer". This simple metric distills (pun intended) the pain and mental anguish of Winter riding into an easy to interpret scale based on fifths of bourbon.

Here is the rundown, by no means in the bourbometer a fixed rule, rather it will adapt as time goes on:
One Fifth: Short ride,  not cold enough to freeze your bottles. No need to drink after this ride, but you still do for good measure.

Two Fifths: Cold enough to make your toes and naughty bits chilly.  A few nips of Makers should help thaw you out.

Three Fifths: Serious pain in feet and hands.  Drink until your feet are thawed enough to get into a hot shower without screaming, or you pass out on the couch.

Four Fifths: Temps below freezing with either wet roads or active precipitation. You can see the souls of past roadies trapped beneath the black  ice al la "The Divine Comedy". I recommend a hot toddy to thaw out, make a pot full instead of a mug full.
Five Fifths: 5 hours of being dragged around by Rick Norton in sub 20ºF weather, or 30 mins on the trainer. You'll need a gallon of booze to recover from this ride.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Second spring...

Bizarre weather yesterday.  Tons of rain overnight lead to a damp day on the bike.  Fortunately the temperature was quite balmy, in the upper sixty's.  While rolling through the countryside of B-more county, I was struck by how green the fields were. That coupled with the lack of leaves on the trees and the warm temperatures made it feel like spring again. Unfortunately we are back to more seasonable temps today with the high projected to b in the low fifty's.  Still good enough for a spin, and I'm currently waiting for loud Mike to get his ass up so we can head out.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Back in the game...

It has been a while and quite honestly not much is new in my little corner of the world.  I still have papers to write and jobs to look for, but the off season is almost over.  I've added a few beer pounds and it is  officially now brown liquor season, the time of year when I drink slowly and ride even slower.

One interesting note is that in the past month I've put in more miles on the commuter (A.K.A. madwagon, car, etc) than on my road bike.  Some of these miles were accumulated during this past weekend's "Hubs of Fury 3" which is a bar crawl that traveled to and fro many areas of Bawlmer by bicycle.  While it was not the rolling debauchery that Dirty et al. partook in at the SSCXWC it was still a good time.

In the coming days i'll start training again it is cold enough out that my brain will certainly crap out some silliness that only an long cold winter ride can induce. For those that have been here from the beginning we've come full circle.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Lazy days of Summer...

Hey all, That is if anyone actually reads this thang anymore. I know that is has been some time since I've posted an update so here goes...

Work has been pretty good. It's a bit tough to get everything done, but I've got some pretty cool experimental results. Now I just need to figure out what they mean.

Bike riding/racing has been a bit of a struggle this year. I feel like I'm close to having some good form, but also close to having another major setback health wise. No really good results to speak of, but the racing has been pretty good at times. We (the KBS/LSV team) did the Tour of Millersburg stage race a few weeks back. It was a very well run event and we are all looking forward to next year. It was a two day, three stage race. ITT, Crit and RR. Headwind Hong had the best TT out of all of us, which is pretty amazing seeing as he is 110lbs soaking wet. That said, the kid is stupid aero and has a big (relative) engine. Kinda like a motorcycle. I went as far as getting some serious aero equipment for my rig.

That pic is mainly for le TSK as he has an affinity for TT rigs. Granted mine is not nearly as cool as his.

The crit was a throw-down with our guys animating it. We got Rick in a good move late in the race, only to get brought back with just over a lap to go. I put it into sprint mode but had to shut it down when a few guys decided to lay it down in the last corner.

The RR was 90 miles with nothing to selective. Bloomer was on early duty and got in the first real move. That came back after one lap, Rick countered taking some big guys up the road with him and that was all she wrote. ~70 miles on a break while we shut it down in the field. Rick attacked the break and came to the line with one other guy. It was close, but Rick got pipped at the line. Back in the field all hell broke loose in the last 2 miles with two big crashes taking out handfuls of riders. One crash was on a downhill and we were going near 40 MPH, spooky stuff.

After M'burgh, I traveled to Bling-Blinghamton to race in the Chris Thater Memorial Crits. The Masters 30+ was the strangest race I'd done in a long time. Things got hard, but not enough to get a good break going. The guys in our race had never heard of a counterattack, that is unless slow rolling off the front after I attacked for the 5th time is your idea of a counterattack. All in all 8 guys got up the road, I sprinted for 10th, blah.

Sunday was the Pro-1 race. I was excited as my parents were able to come to their first bike race. The short story is they got to see me tail gun most of the race after I laid it down in a corner. I tore the ass out of my shorts (literally) and walked past them on my way to the pit. Kinda funny, I just waved, and said "I'm ok".

I've got two races left and I'm looking forward to the offseason. I have a lot to do, papers to write, conferences to attend and academic positions to find and apply to . I'll try to keep you all updated.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Happy Birthday... you don't have cancer...yet...we think...

So I turned 31 years old today and as the title states, I don't have (the) cancer.  I've had a few suspicious moles taken off of my back in the past 6 months or so.  Let me tell you it is a lot of fun having about an inch long/ half inch wide lenticular patch of skin removed just to find out if your mole is cancerous.  Then again, having full blown cancer is no walk in the park. The labs came back and there were more "abnormal" cells than the lab would like, but it was not a definitive diagnosis of cancer.  My dermatologist told me "I don't think you are going to die, but we'd like to track you for changes." So I get to see him every six months. 

In other news, JP and Julie, friends from bling-blinghamton, got married this weekend.  It was a blast catching up with the old crew.  We shared memories of the good old days, like the time that we put JP's head thru the wall (see it was true Sophia).

Monday, July 14, 2008


This past saturday marked my return to racing.  It was the district championship crit in Hagerstown.  The course was fantastic, one technical turn, a short rise, and a headwind/false-flat drag to the line made me feel like I was back in the midwest for the summer long crit fest that is racing in the Chicago area.

The plan was to keep things together so that our sprinter Shane Kline could go for the win.  Things were aggressive early  and we had one or two guys sitting on every move.  My job was to chaperone Shane and help him move up if needed. Additionally I would lend an hand if tings got messy up front.  Here is a shot of me bringing Clay across to a break midway thru the race.  I look a bit chubby, and am suffering into the headwind.

Late in the race two Harleys and Ramon rolled off unmarked.  The gap was opening and I tried to drag Rick across.  I got within a few seconds, but could not get there.  Fortunately Rick is a hoss and was able to make the junction.  The bad news that along with Rick, I took two guys from the teams already up the road leaving Rick to do battle with three Harleys and two Artemis guys.  Yet again, we ended up stacking the odds against one of our best riders.  Rick managed to get 4th place which is nothing short of superhuman.  Shane did his job and took the field sprint for 7th.

Rick used to race pro for Navigators, and though that was a few years back he still shows that most pros are a notch above even the best amateurs.  A prime example of this occurred at the Cascade Cycling Classic this past weekend.

Yes, that is Chris Horner giving another rider a "lift" to the mountain top finish.  Click here to see more photos and a description of the above event.  I think my favorite picture is the shot with another group coming to the finish.  I'd be pissed to find out that someone literally carried another rider up the climb and handily beat me.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


So it has been some time since I've posted, but I've been busy attending various wedding and bachelor party functions. The weekend of June 28th I was in lovely Rockland County, NY for JP's bachelor party. Ro-Ro works at a camp for children with mental disabilities and he was able to secure the venue for our shenanigans before the kiddies showed up. We had a mobile keg of beer and were set to have some fun.

Things went pretty much as expected.  Lots of booze was consumed, pong and flippy-cup games ensued, Shultz passed out and got sharpied, and JP vomited.  A solid performance all around.  It was a blast to catch up with the friends that I left on the east coast during my Illinois years.  

This past weekend (4th of July) I was back in the Midwest for (sober) Craig's bachelor party and wedding.  The B-party started off with some poolside beers 5 mins after I arrived at the hotel, nice.  Then we cruised to Naperville in a limo bumpin "beam me up".  We met up with the bachelorette party and had a fantastic time.

The wedding was a great time too.  Mandy (the bride) was a picture of beauty and the ceremony was really well put together.  Craig is a lucky man as Mandy is the total package, smart, caring, beautiful, funny, and has a smile that will knock you out.   The picture does not do these two justice.

More bike racing this weekend. Till then toodles.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Ohio recap...

The last stage of the tour of Ohio was the exact opposite of last years final criterium stage which ended in a bunch sprint.  The 50 mile circuit race had us scheduled for 4 loops on rolling country roads and then 10 laps of a 1.3 mile finishing circuit with a big climb and a technical descent.

Things started off as expected, Inferno let a group roll off the front to protect the sprint jersey.  With one big loop to go the weather took a turn for the worse.  Wind, rain, hail, lightening, you name it.  At one point the cross winds were strong enough to blow Bennett off the road and he is probably 185 lbs, our flyweight Chong managed to keep it upright by drafting off of my billboard ass.

The run back into town was pretty uneventful.  We did our best to escort Chris to the front so that he could be on the pointy end of the race when we hit the finishing circuits.  I think that the guys executed perfectly, and we looked like we had a clear purpose in the race.  Th finishing circuits were a right bitch.  they started with a short paved incline that took a slight left-hand bend onto a super steep brick climb.  It was not quite snake alley, but close.  The climb was followed by a false flat/rolling descent and finished with a super steep bumpy concrete downhill with a 180 degree turn at the base. 

I cracked pretty hard the first time up the climb, but toughed it out to finish in the top 50.  I actually felt better as the race went on, but whatever.

Overall the guys rode pretty well, with Chris being the most consistent.  He ended up 16th overall and 3rd in the collegiate standings.

John Rowley managed to hold on to his Cat 3 jersey, and Le TSK was second in the collegiate and points competition.  It was really great to race with these guys again.

After the race, we had Pizza and some beer.  Tank, Lemur and I ventured out to THE bar in Granville for a few more drinks.  Upon arrival, Bennett and a few friends of his stumbled out.  Me being the jackass that I am threatened Bennett with bodily harm, and fisticuffs nearly ensued. I "boxed" his ears a few times and even threw a leg kick at his head thinking that we were just screwing around.  He then grabbed my head and came away with my hat.  Walking away from me he refuses to give my hat back and is swearing at me.  I now realize that he didn't recognize me and I'm flat out lucky that he didn't flat out punch my lights out.  After calling him by name a few times he realized it was me and the hat and hugs were exchanged.

The trip back to MD was uneventful (other than a detour to krispy kreme, and cute waitstaff at Panera).

Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin, R.I.P. 2008...

I was gonna give a recap of the final stage of the Tour of Ohio, but since Mr. Carlin kicked the bucket today I thought that I'd share one of my favorite Carlin quotes.

"And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, 'Fuck waffles.' "

We'll miss cocksucker.

Tomorrow, recap of the last day in Ohio or How I nearly got my ass kicked twice in one day.

Saturday, June 21, 2008


Stage 4 of the Tour of Ohio was a good hard race.  Things got started shortly after the first bonus sprint when a group of nine riders slipped away.  C-Dubs, and G-mur were in a small chase group that never quite got there.  After they returned to the field, i threw an attack to try to get across to the lead group.  In doing so I brought a few other riders with (10 or so).  With representation up the road more than half the group just sat on.  After a few laps we had the leaders within 15 seconds, but then the attacks out of the chase started killed any chances of us getting across.

Late in the race, things got pretty serious with Dewey and le TSK dropping some bombs and bringing back the leaders with about 5 laps to go.  I got into sprint mode and started to find the right wheels.  I ended up in 8th place.  By far the best result I've had this year. More importantly I felt like I was racing, and had a chance to win.

The guys on the team rode their best race yet, as they were active initiating and covering moves throughout the race.

One more stage to go,and it is going to be a doozy.  The first 40 miles should be really easy, rolling terrain, but the eight finishing circuits are going to be insane.  They are 1.3 miles long, with a very steep climb, and a tight descent.  I expect to see some shake up in the GC.  Probably not in the top placings, but there are a lot of guys grouped closely from 6-20th.  If any of them have an off day it is game over.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Ohio Stage 3...

While My race results have been less than spectacular.  Some of my Friends have been killing it.  Le TSK, managed to nab some sprint points in stage 1 and 3 and is now wearing the green "points" jersey.  Some people call it the sprinters jersey, but seeing as John is wearing it calling it the points jersey makes a little more sense.

In other news, my old housemate and all around hard man, John Rowley, is wearing the white jersey (highest placed cat 3 rider).

It has been a blast catching up with some friends over the past few days.  Tonight I hope to get something going in the crit. A top 5 finish would be nice.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Stupid recovery tricks...

So after a miserable day, A-mac, C-dubs (the chubs) and G-mur (the lemur) decided that an ice bath would be a good idea to speed recovery.  A few bags of Ice and an eight-dollar kiddie pool later this happened.

Absolute piss...

That pretty much sums up the first two days of the Tour of Ohio.  I'm just not feeling great on the bike.  Stage one was a 30 mile crit on a 1/2 mile course with 7-8 turns and a section of brick.  Thankfully the officials decided to negate any time gaps and give all riders the same finish time less time bonuses.  That said, this caused some serious issues as guys were just sitting up wen a gap opened that they didn't feel like closing.  I spent the first half of the race picking my way through the chaff and made what would end up being the final selection of 30 or so riders.  I was working my way thru the remainder f the field when a Target Training guy got tangled up and wend down on the bricks.  I T-boned him pretty good, but didn't hit the ground.  I thought I could case back on but got to within 5 seconds but never any closer.  After getting pulled, I coughed until I vomited and my nose was bleeding.  It is time to go back to the doctor as I'm still not over what ever is up with my lungs.  The only good news is that Curtis (C-dubs) had a good ride and finished 13th.

Stage two is the Queen stage of the tour and a right bitch.  The first 25 miles are chill, but then it is one steep climb after another until you get to the line at mile 66.  I tried to be a good teammate and patrol the front of the race.  There were several times that a dangerous group was off and I rode hard to keep them close or pull them back.  I ended up cracking pretty bad with three major climbs to go.  I was able to chase back, but the writing was on the wall as probably the hardest two climbs were left.  I rode the last 10 miles or so solo or in a small group. 

Frankly, I'm really disappointed with my race. I didn't ride smart at all, and it may have cost me  chance at a good GC placing.  I'm guessing that I'm at least 10 mins down and there is no way for me to make that up. I really have no idea if my lungs are the problem, or if I'm just slow.  Regardless, I need to have a good race soon or I'm gonna be fried mentally.  I'm sick of feeling helpless on the bike.

The other bad news is that Chris Hong was the only guy from our team to make the selection today, and while he is a strong rider, It is going to be hard for him to make up any time as the rest of the stages are pretty flat. 

On the positive side, Tank had a pretty good ride.  He is a Cat 3 and a big guy (about my size) and he was a second placed rider on the stage.  

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Bike and Build...

I took a few vacation days to meet up with Sophia and thirty of her new friends that are riding from Providence, RI to Seattle, WA with the Habitat for Humanity Bike and Build program. They travel about 70 miles a day, stopping few days in a community that has a active Habitat for Humanity project to assist with the build. It just happened that the route that they are traveling had them passing within three miles of my parents house.

On Thursday morning I met up with Sophia in lovely Roscoe, NY and prepared for the 70 mile ride through the southern tier of NY with the final destination being my old college town Binghamton, NY. The ride was a lot of fun as the scenery in the area is amazing; lots of steep hills rising from the Delaware river valley and dense deciduous forests. About 20 miles into the ride we hit our first SNAFU. The road we were to travel was closed. We had two options for a detour: 1) take the long way around adding 10-15 miles to the trip. 2) ride on Route 17 which is pretty much an interstate (in fact it is in the process of becoming interstate 86), and it is illegal to ride a bicycle on it. To make a long story short, we got a police escort form a very kind state trooper.

You can just see the squad car in this photo of the group getting off route 17. This guy saved our asses big time.

After another little detour that took us on some nice dirt roads along the river we got to Hale Eddy which is a few mile from my parent's house.  A few of the group decided to take a break and cool off in/by the river.

From there it was a few miles to Deposit, NY where we stopped and snacked some eats.  After lunch we had about 30 more miles to Binghamton which included a few long steady climbs.

Once in Bling-Blinghamton, I met up with my old roommate Doug who lives in the area.  He and his wife, Jimae, are expecting their first (and only from what she says) child in a few weeks.  It was nice to catch up as It has been at least a year since I saw either of them.

On Friday morning I met up with the Bike and Build peeps for a few hours of landscaping fun at a build site on the south side of Binghamton.  This was one of the more interesting parts of the trip as i got to speak with many, but regrettably not all, of the people on the trip. I must say that these people have some serious motivation and direction in their lives.  I takes a certain type of person to up and leave their comfort zone and ride across the country helping out the disadvantaged. What is even mare amazing is that 90% of the people on the trip are not avid cyclists.

After the build day, Sophia and I stumbled around Binghamton for a few hours taking in some of the bizarre architecture of the area.  We even went to Beethoven (recreation) park and took a carousel ride, which is a bit of Binghamton area history/culture.

Best wishes to all those on the Providence–Seattle route and all the others that are out there making this world a better place.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I'm (almost) back...

So it is semi official. I'm a bike racer again. This has nothing to do with riding well and getting results, rather the opposite. After a year of keeping the rubber side down, I came off the bike this weekend. The incident occurred at the Murad RR. It was a nice course, slightly rolling with no big climbs to lug my ass up. The weather on the other hand was not so nice. Once again, it poured buckets shortly after the start of our race. I was on early duty and the guys were out to give other teams hell until something good got away. After a few failed attempts I was off in a small group at the end of the first lap. I'm second wheel going into a slightly off camber down hill right hander, and boom front wheel pushed out and i'm on the deck sliding before I know what has happened. I didn't even get my hands off the bars, and thus ground my knuckles pretty good. I slid thru the corner, but my bike ended up in the middle of the road, and I couldn't get it until the entire field passed by. After getting things straight (saddle, bars, stem) I chased and chased. I caught the group at the start finish on the next lap when the officials stopped the race due to weather. after standing around for 30 mins they canceled the race. That is twice this year!!!

The following day was the CSC invite down in Arlington, VA (D.C. for all intents). Our race was fast and aggressive so much that the field went from over 100 to about 40 in short order. We tried like hell to get a break going but nothing ever materialized. One dude rode off solo and won. The rest of us tried to bring it back but got no help from the other teams, and or guys were pretty gassed for the sprint. Rick hung tough and nabbed 14th. I'm still missing that little bit of form that is the difference between driving a break and hanging on for dear life, but I'm getting closer.

Now I have a few weekends off, before Tour of Ohio. I'm hoping that training through these past few weeks of racing will pay off.

Monday, June 2, 2008


It is not too often that I see pictures of something that really knocks me for a loop. We are constantly barraged with shots of death and violence, and that has probably made me a little numb to most things. There is also a certain detachment as I have never be victim of a violent crime, war, or natural disaster.

I was sent a link to some photos of an accident involving a drunk driver and a bicycle race in Mexico.

This is the first image I saw.

This image is especially terrifying to anyone that has ever ridden in a road race. The car on the right is a police escort, so the riders were still in the "protection" of the race caravan. I can tell you that in the middle of a race you certainly let your guard down in terms of interacting with traffic because you rely on the escorts to keep you safe. The victims here probably had no idea what was going on until it was too late.

This image was pretty bad and I knew that the aftermath would not be good, but i was not prepared for what I saw a few images later.

That image is what shook me. It just reeks of death. No heroic efforts at CPR, no ambulance. I could have handled an image of massive trauma and EMT's doing what they could, as that would have given some hope that the guy would pull through. Nope, just a bunch of people looking at a pile of meat and bone covered by a blanket. If that doesn't remind you that we are mortal, I'm not sure what will.

Monday, May 26, 2008


Bike Jam is over and it was a huge success. Our amateur racers had some good rides, and the pro team notched the Vee in front of the title sponsor, the Kelly family. I was in the pro race and it was fast from the gun. I was stuck mid pack for the majority of the race and unable/unwilling to move up as the field was strung out. In the last 1/4 of the race, the gaps started to open and I after closing a few, I cracked. End of race.

Sunday was a Crit down at RFK stadium in D.C. It was on a 2 mile long pan flat course through several parking lots around the stadium. Again it was fast, but the course was so wide open it was pretty easy to move up. It came down to a bunch sprint and I was 14th. Still a little off my form, but getting better. I actually felt like I was part of the race today, which was a boost for the morale.

One last note on how small the cycling world is. I ran into some old friends that I expected to see. Baumann and Bennett were both at Bike Jam, and it was nice to see some of my old racing friends. Then there were some surprises. Liz F. from Ohio state and her man Ben just got back form spending 2 years in South America and are moving to DC. They found some time to squeeze in some bike racing while out east looking for a place to live. It never ceases to amaze me at how close knit of a community the cycling world is.

Friday, May 23, 2008

More updates...

It has been a hectic few weeks for me.

I'm still not recovered from getting sick after "The Dolan Deluge (parts one and two)". The same thing happened last year, i got a bad sinus infection, then my allergies just kept my cough and congestion lingering. Modern medicine has not been much help either. With nearly five weeks of feeling like poo, the doctors are just flabbergasted. Not much seems to help.

The other big news is that I finally graduated with my Ph.D.

Yup, drinking a 40 oz. in full academic regalia is mandatory.

In the meantime, my midwest boys have been killing it on the bike, with the TSK, The Earl of Skeet, AY , and Nick Dornik getting some good results over the past weekend. TSK bagged his first P/1/2 victory so I owe him more malt liquor.

Tomorrow is my new home race: Bike Jam/Kelly Cup. Lots of big name are slated for the 40 mile pro/1 race and It is going to be tough for sure. I think i'll be trying to hide most of the day. As a bonus, some old friends form the midwest will be in attendance. I look forward to mixing it up with them, or at least having a chat on the line.

Bed time, I've got to be up at 6:00 to go help work the race.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


Hey all, Not much is new aside from the fact that I've been really ill for a week now. Apparently hard races in the cold rain are not good for my immune system. Since there have been some comments about my new ride and kit, I'll post some pictures. enjoy.

So, yes Skeeter, I am on a sloping tube Lemon-D. As to whether my kit matches my bike, I'm color blind but even I think that the match is not too close.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Good and bad...

I suited up for a stupid wet afternoon of racing at the Carl Dolan Memorial race. It was on a nice, but a bit boring, course about 20 mins from Baltimore. 2.1 miles per lap with only one real corner which was at the bottom of a hill. I was to line up for the masters 30+ and then the 1-2-3 race later in the day. It pissed on us in the 30+ with several inches of standing water on the lower parts of course, but it was pretty safe with no one falling down till the last kilometer. That said, I did have a close call whit some dude who though his spokes were tougher than my rear derailleur—my derailleur won. I felt bad for about 20 secnds and i got squeezed a bit and may have drifted towards this guy. Then in the next flurry of attacks this guy does his best "Moses parts the red sea" impression by screaming "MIDDLE!!!!" while trying to push through the center of the field about 20 guys back.

Anyhoo, as a team we were pretty aggressive either initiating or covering just about every move. WIth a few laps left we got to the top of the climb and i could feel the lull coming. Below is a picture of me taking the situation on to my own hands and throwing the attack.

This turned out to be the winning move as two big players in the field decided to join me. Here is a shot of the break a little later in the race. notice two things: It stopped raining, and I'm not there.

I was packing up pretty bad and still trying to work, but I guess the guys thought I was trying to be disruptive. I swung off a pull and the guy in the back let a gap open and then jumped me. I was pretty much pegged and couldn't close the gap, game over. I got back in the field and was pissed off and put that to use in the sprint nabbing 4th over all.

The 1-2-3 race was fast and furious. then the rain/hail/wind/thunder started. The wind took out the tent at the finish line and the officials called the races due to the large amount of lightning. Kind a bummer to not get to finish the race, but racing in that shit twice in one day was enough for me.

The fitness is coming along, and I think in a month I'll be rolling pretty well.

For more images of the race check out Jim Wilson's photos.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

caminar de berguensa...

At the end of my ride today I experienced the dreaded double flat. I hit some piece of an automobile that was lying in the broken pavement of the bike lane I was in. This resulted in a double pinch flat and a huge gash in my front tire. Despite having a spare tube and a patch kit, I didn't think I could boot the front tire. Couple that with the fact that I was about a mile from my home I said fuggit, popped my shoes off and walked it in. This is the cycling equivalent "walk of shame" that takes place most every saturday and sunday morning on college campuses.

You may note several similarities between the two walks of shame referred to above. Clad in spandex walking around baltimore is pretty much the equivalent to walking home past the sunday morning churchgoers in a cute dress with nookie hair. My choice of footwear was also ill-suited for the trek home. I'll never understand why people insist on wearing good shoes out to the crappy campus bars. For one they hinder the walk home that night or the next day. Second, they are just bound to end up covered in dirt and various bodily fluids. Seriously, you should all start wearing your flip-flops to the bars, better for walking and you can wear then directly into the shower to wash the filth off them and your soul. But I digress.

As anyone who has performed the walk can tell you, you biggest hope is that you will not cross paths with anyone that you know on your journey. I was not so lucky as a co-worker, Emily, passed me in her car a few blocks from my house. She yelled and waved to make sure that I was properly shamed. Thankfully she didn't attempt to stop and make sure I was alright as that would have furthered the shaming.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

As the worm turns...

So I'm finally feeling "normal" on the bike again. I've had some good workouts this week including some 2x20 action followed by 3+ hours of riding through baltimore county yesterday. It was a little over 4 hours on the bike and I felt good the whole time. It is a bit of a relief for sure. I think a lot of it has to do with my body finally adjusting the shedding a few extra pounds that I gained while finishing my dissertation. Now I just need to build a little more fitness and I think i'll be ready to mix it up proper with the new team.

Also I'm an idiot and forgot what order my upcoming races are. The Poolesville RR is May 3, not this weekend. This weekend I'll be doing the masters 30+/1-2-3 double at a local circuit race. Then it's up to Bling-Blignhamton to do another circuit race and visit my fams. I'm pretty excited as Mom and Dad will be coming to watch me race. They came to a lot of my track races in HS, but have never seen me race my bike so i'll have extra motivation to race well.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Apparently both my livelihood (work) and pastime (cycling) are riddled with doping link.I can't wait until some professor who is all hopped up on Ritalin powns me in a competition for NSF funding.

On a completely unrelated note I went to the local "Wed. Night Worlds" last night. All in all it was a solid 3+ hour ride, with 1.5 of it being during the training race. We had a good group of 25 or so. We ended up whittling it down to 5 of us at the end. The attrition was partly due to the strength of the riders, and partly due to sketchball descending antics by our local MTB hardman Chris. I swear I was sitting on John Rowley's wheel.

The "finish" is at the top of a long uphill drag and is not marked. I tried to ask for info about the line but due to tactics or more likely oxygen debt i got no response from my group. The jump came and I was a bit flat footed. By the time I realized that this was a "sprint" and not an "attack" it was too late. I probably didn't have the legs left anyway. It was a fun ride and just the right amount of suffering.

I return to racing next weekend at the Poolesville RR. 72 miles of fun on 9 mile loop which included a 1.5 mile stretch of dirt. I can't wait. I just hope I don't break another spoke like at Michigan State last year. Then again, I'll settle for a third place finish if it takes breaking a spoke.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Keep your head up...

Remember kiddies, try not to drop your head in the middle of races. I know that when things get strung out, putting your head down is the natural reaction, but try not to, or shit like this happens.

My teammate ET did something similar at Stuporweak last year hitting a barricade at 30 per. Pieter O. From xXx racing died in a similar incident last year at Matteson. No more of this nonsense.

Big ups to all of my MW peeps that had good results this past weekend, especially C-Bach and Skeeter, who didn't grab stellar placings, but are starting to find their place at the front of the pack. Boo-hoo to le TSK who laid it down and snapped his bike in twain. I guess that is an acceptable reason for his first non-podium of the collegiate season.

As for me, I'm battling some allergy/illness shit that is leaving me pretty fatigued. I feel like poo most days on the bike, which is not helping me get into shape in the least bit.On teh plus side, I got a new bike. It is shiny and has carbon bits hanging from it. I christened her proper by riding in the rain on Sunday. Pix to follow.

Sunday, March 30, 2008


Yeah, so yesterday was the debut with the new team, and overall it was a pretty rough day. Rite Aid (pro) was there and decided to drop some serious bombs early in the race. The majority of our squad was still caught up in the mess that was the field when Rite Aid got three, yes three, guys off in a 5 man move. By the time we got our guys up to the front en mass the gap was at 1:00. Despite our best efforts we just didn't make much headway at bringing the break back. In related news I gassed myself pretty badly and went from taking pulls on the front to sucking hind tit in the bat of an eyelash as we hit a steep little kicker. Racing is not so much fun when you are not at the fitness level you are accustomed to, so I plan on hitting it pretty hard in the next few weeks. I hope that the team fared a bit better at Jeff Cup today. I know a lot of them were busting their ass yestarday and It is frustrating that I was not able to b of more help.

On the brighter side of things, Bloomer, my LSV teammate who also races for Hopkins notched the Vee in the 3/4 race attacking out of a four man break with just under one km to go. Propers.

The racing here is pretty competitive and we had 99 guys and one lady (Van Guilder) line up for the start. The centerline rule is not observed or enforced. We had two moto-officials in our race and they were doing their best to push the riders back over the line, but it was all really in vain.

I hope that all of my midwest-peeps had fun at hillsboro. I was a bit sad to not be there with you all, but at the same time i didn't miss riding in the gutter for 88 miles. I did 60 at my race and that was enough.

Friday, March 28, 2008

THe real season starts tomorrow...

While My midwest peeps are lining up for the official season opener at the Hillsboro-Roubaix, I'll be heading up to PA Dutch country to race with my new team. I'm a bit excited to throw down with the new team, but I'm a bit of an outsider as I'm not an official "Elite Team" member. I hope that the good karma that I built up with the non elite Turin guys pays dividends this year. I'm not in great form so I think I'll offer my services as a worker bee.

It has been a long time since I've been to that area of PA and it can be a little like going back in time. here is what the promoter had to say:
"Lancaster County is one of the most conservative places on the planet and as such curse words, public nudity/urination and definitely public fornication are frowned upon."

I can buy into the first two, but if these people are not down with public fornication, there are gonna be some disturbed citizens when the orgy breaks out after the race.

Good luck to those doing hillsboro.

Monday, March 10, 2008

God: The rainmaker and the provider of blind dates...

So I'm at a conference this week and that means I have some free time in the hotel to update this here bloggy. The past few days have been pretty hectic with travel and all, but I've got some good stories.

1. I put in a nice 2.5 hours in the rain on Saturday. I really like riding in the rain. This probably has to do with the novelty of it all, but in some respects it reduces the bike ride to simply a bike ride. Often times we get caught up in the training rut and forget what it is like to just go out and ride. Rainy rides allow me to just go out and slog away with no motive other than it is better then sitting in my house getting pudgy.

2. Traveling is always a good time. I usually manage to come away with a few good nuggets. On my flight from Jackson MS to Houston, TX I sat next to a nice couple about my parents age. Conversation was pretty mundane, the usual what do you do for a living etc. That was until the topic of religion came up. The woman, Cathy, politely asked for my view on evolution/creationism seeing as I'm a man of science. My Number one rule is that I don't discuss religion with people. There is really no point to it all as faith is based on... well faith. The Hitchhikers Guide has an interesting take on this.

Anyway, I deflected the question by stating that IF you have faith you don't need an explanation and that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs blah blah blah... Apparently I made a good impression as she proceeded to set me up on a blind date with her niece. Fucking bizarre. Well there is no date set per-se, but she has my phone number.

3. Lastly I hung out with some Brown people tonight. That is, people from Brown University, and not the brown people of the Indian/Pakistani persuasion. A new colleague of mine that works on the same project is a recent graduate from Brown and invited me along for dinner with her former group. To make a long story short it was a good time. One dude was just like Patchett (for those who know him). Completely inappropriate and a great time to hang with. It has been a while since I've had a good laugh (since leaving C-U) and I felt very much at home.

Saturday, March 8, 2008


You've earned it...Looks like I've got to win a P-1-2 race soon to keep the 40 oz tally even.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Back to Skoo...

So I started my racing season this weekend with some good old collegiate racing. Seeing as I'm back on teh right coast, I raced in the ACCC races hosted by Navy. Sat was a crit and Sun featured a nice long ITT.

The crit was a hard day for sure. Things started to blow up, and I tried to force the split with a Navy and VA Tech dude, but I was pretty much blown after one pull. We got brought back, the counter went and that was the move. The two guys I was with made the selection, but I'm lacking in the area or recovery, and I ended up in the second group. There were a few guys with teammates up the road so the pace started to drop as the group was pretty unmotivated. I decided that a workout was more important than a good finish and went to work at the front. I sat up (actually lead out the last lap) for the finish and ended up 12th.

The TT was a sufferfest and I never got into a good rhythm. My power numbers were pretty paltry. That said, I've not really done any threshold work thus far so I suppose I can't expect too much. For those that care I ended up 12th again.

Lastly big ups to the kids from the Hopkins team who have accepted me as one of their own despite me rocking the orange and blue. It was a good time traveling with them this weekend and I look forward to a few more trips with them. They've got a nice group of riders and some good talent. The ladies racked up a win in the A's and a 1st, 2nd's, and a 5th in the B's, while the guys got a 3rd and a 6th in the TT.

It sounds like I missed a interesting weekend in the MWCCC. Props to my old teammates D-rock (who notched one and a half wins), the TSK who was 2nd in the RR and 3rd in the Crit, and mademoiselle Cole who was 3rd in the RR.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Loop-de-loops with ice cream scoops...

Sorry for the lack up updates, but work has been handing me my butt. I'm reading a lot of literature and trying to design my new experimental set-up. For those that care, I'm working on large scale impacts, specifically asteroid fragmentation. It is some pretty crazy stuff as I'm trying to run a lab experiment (cm length scales) and scale it up to asteroid impacts with lengths on the km range. I'll be at a conference in Houston next week so I'm sure I'll be bored in my hotel and update frequently. Perhaps I'll catch you all up on the past month or so.

In other news, I've been riding my bike a little more. Three days in a row in fact. I did 45 mins of tempo at a local park called lake Montebello. It is a nice paved 1 mile loop with separated bike and running lanes. A little boring and repetitive, but with only an hour or so of daylight after work it sure beats the trainer. It felt kinda like a 1-man crit, bizarre. I actually rode the 20 mins back from the park in the dark (i have lights).

Racing starts for me this weekend at Navy. I think I'm ready to rip it up as long as no one attacks in the crit and the TT is downhill with a tailwind both ways. The TT profile is here. I predict that last 2 miles are gonna hurt a lot.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


So the Tour of Cali kicked off today. The big euro-pros hare in town, but I hope that our domestic boys can add tot he mix. There was a little drama with Rock Racing and I think that they mishandled the situation by lettting the roster issue stick around till the last min. That said, I'm starting to like Mr. Ball a little more. I watched him address the press and while he is a bit of a maverick, and while he over used the phrases "first and foremost" And "period", I think that he is genuine in his intentions to improve the sport of cycling. Velosnooze has the interview here.

For those that care, you might notice that I've dropped the moniker "Old Balls", while calling myself "Dr. K" is a bit pretentious I don't think that old balls is appropriate any longer. The new group I'm riding with has a large contingent of riders 5-10 years my senior, and they are faster than me. Case in point this weekend, new teammate and fast man Rick Norton put me in the hurt locker. About 2.5 hours into the ride after some nice rotating paceline riding we start climbing. The pitch increases as the climb progresses and eventually it is just him and me. I'm starting to pack up and decide to sit on. He flicks and in my state of oxygen debt I blurt out "I'm just gonna sit", his response, "OK". Then my lizard brain realized that that was the biggest mistake I could have made. I could literally hear the countdown...3...2...1...boom. Rick stood up, accelerated and left me clawing after his wheel. Needless to say I could not match his acceleration and blew up pretty hard. All in all it was a good ride and getting handled from time to time is a good thing.

In other news Sean "sweeper" Keefer was visiting his chica in B-more this weekend. We had lunch today, and he filled me in on the haps and the craps back in C-U. I't is gonna be a bit strange not being with the Illini kids (and other MWCCC peeps too) this weekend at OSU. To those there, have fun at the races. I'll pray for warmer weather that usual.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


To facilitate your time wasting, I've added some links to the right side of the blog. Notable additions that have not been mentioned on this blog before are Mademoiselle Cole and Craig Erbach. Jess is still slummin it in CU while C-Bach have moved to the land of cheese.

As for me I put in another good ride today. It was really windy today--like Illinois Windy. At one point I was going downhill pushing about 250W and only going about 25MPH silly stuff for sure. Alright I need to get to bed as I can feel the start of an ear infection and I don't have access to the JHU health center yet due to some paperwork issues, more on this debacle to come.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Allow me to re-introduce my self, my name is Dr. K

Well, as most of you know I've finally finished my Ph.D. That was just over a week ago. Since defending on Feb. 1 It has been a bit of a whirlwind. Here is a short (or not) rundown of my last days in Champickle: Making changes to the dissertation on Thus. night, filling the Blind Pig with friends on Friday (thanks to all that came out), Surviving the ride home in the snow, renting my breakfast on Sat. morning and barely feeling good enough to go out with my research group and advisor for lunch. Packing most of my shit and leaving town by 6:30 on Sat. night. I arrived in Baltimore on Sunday afternoon and moved in to my new place. Pretty hectic.

I started my post-doc at Johns Hopkins on Monday at 9:00AM. This my friends is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever done. Fortunately my boss and research group are super cool and have eased my moving to baltimore a great deal.

My new housemate is very cool too. She is an architect and a bustling socialite. I went out for happy hour with her and some friends last night and it was a blast. I rode down to the bar from work which is ~5 miles one way. Being new to town I went thru some pretty rundown areas, and have since adjusted my route. I'll be sure to give some updates on life in baltimore in the coming days.

Today was a great day on the bike. I met up with Paul, Ken, and Susanna a little south of my house and we rode about an hour north to meet the team group ride which leaves from the sponsoring shop, Race Pace Bicycles. Then it was a 2 hour ride with a sizable group throgh northern Baltimore county. The terrain out here is fantastic. Lots of rollers, and good road surfaces. I ended up with 4:15 of saddle time today, not too shabby.

The people on the ride were really nice too. There was one guy (Mike) who has even looked at my blog to get an idea of who I am after I posted to the team listserv. Perhaps the comment of the day, which was said on two separate occasions, was , "They ride bikes out there???". this was in response to me telling them that I had just arrived from IL. Pretty amusing to me.

Allright, I think I'm off to eat some dinner before I pass out. Thanks again to all those I left behind in C-U. I'm missing you already, and i fear it will get worse after the "newness" of Baltimore wears off. Also big thanks to the LSV/KBS team who made me feel as comfortable in the group as I did back in IL.